I recently wrote about a series of struggles that had me coming unglued. A recently paid-off car that needed a new engine. A surgical procedure that required the $900 co-pay up front. Both a dog and a furnace in need of repairs. A disgusting plumbing problem.

And a gross of squirrels in our pear tree.

Instead of complaining about the situation, I began an earnest effort to follow the simple advice of missionary Elisabeth Elliot and “Do the next thing.” I wasn’t going to allow myself to look at all that had gone wrong or the many small and large things I sensed were lining up, planning to jump out at me next.

But it seemed for every step forward, I’d get shoved two steps back. And then came a well-timed e-mail from a reader.

“I had a similar experience back in 2007,” wrote Jennifer Goddard. “Within a four-week span, I received the news my corporate job was eliminated, my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 cervical cancer, and my sister-in-law was hospitalized with potentially deadly complications after a routine surgery. I couldn’t believe the mess my life had become. In despair, I foolishly asked the universe ‘What next?’ with no regard for karma’s sense of irony.

“Was it because I dared ask that question my house caught fire after a freak December thunderstorm? Lightning struck the pole by our house, traveled through the power line and caught our breaker box on fire, which caught the laundry room ceiling on fire! Thankfully (though I didn’t feel that way at the moment) we were home. We heard the smoke detector, we had working fire extinguishers and we knew how to use them. My husband quickly put out the fire while I called 911.

“If you’re going to have a house fire, that’s the way to have one. We saved our home and pets and only had to move out for 24 hours. We found cleanup of smoke damage is much easier and really just an inconvenience compared to recovering from extensive fire and water damage.

“Our breaker box was replaced and we celebrated having a cautionary tale to share with friends and family. My sister-in-law recovered from the blood clots with no lasting health problems. Not everything was resolved the way I would have hoped, but because I wasn’t working, I was able to care for my mother during her brief illness and was there at her side when she passed away in March of 2008.”

What comes next is my favorite part of Jennifer’s e-mail.

“This experience parallels my mother’s early attempts to keep me focused on the positive things in life when I was little. Apparently (my brother backs this up), I was a bit of a whiner when I started preschool. My mom made me tell her three good things that happened before she would allow me to share a complaint. She said it was often a challenge for me to find something good to share. With prompting from an early age, and now as a way of life, I try to find the good things and be thankful.”

When I e-mailed Jennifer Goddard to ask permission to use her e-mail in my column, she said her mother, Donna Reed, a longtime teacher and volunteer at First Presbyterian Preschool, was such an amazing woman that sharing her with others helps keeps her spirit alive.

Said Jennifer, “It is hard to stay positive, and I’m certainly aware how easy it is to fall off the wagon and gripe. Sometimes you just need to vent, and that’s OK, too.”

You hear all the time how a good marriage takes work. How raising children is work. How being healthy takes work. What I never seem to hear is that being happy takes work, too. It isn’t something that just happens when the stars align right. It’s an attitude that takes nourishing and shoring up and attending.

I like to believe that I’m one of the happier people you’ll meet. I can find the funny in most any situation, and that comes from having had a life that’s frequently forced me to look.

So I’m having to look a little harder this time. I know that I’ll find it.

I’m lucky that way. 

The news was something I wasn’t ready to hear. A grim diagnosis.

The engine in our 2004 Toyota Matrix was on borrowed time. The mechanic said we could still drive it, but the end was inevitable.

As Geoff limped home in the Matrix, I followed behind in our other car, a 12-year-old VW Jetta.

The Jetta had been acting its age for a while, yet its decline had been more expected. A leak here, a part missing there. Windshield wipers that acted like they were possessed. The car’s gradually multiplying (and mostly minor) quirks were almost as amusing as they were annoying.

For the past few years, we’d begun to accept the Jetta might not be long for this world, but we’d only had the Matrix paid off for a year. We hoped the initial diagnosis was wrong, but a second mechanic concurred.

There was no room in our budget for a new engine or another car payment. No nest egg to poach. 

No choice but to make do with one car for a while.

While still numb from the news, I called my doctor’s office to schedule a fairly routine surgical procedure I’m to have near the end of this month.

And was told I have to pay, up front, the 20 percent our insurance doesn’t cover. A little over $900.

Again, not in our budget.

That evening, I was greeted at the door by two of our dogs. I went looking for the third. And found he’d injured his leg.

That night it got chilly. But the furnace wouldn’t kick on.

While working to clear a sink that seemed hopelessly clogged, the toilet overflowed.

And I fell apart.

There’s a danger in asking, “What’s next?” since the question will often be answered in a way that tops, in grand fashion, the many little disasters that lined up before it. But after a week of one blow after another, I was feeling picked on enough to let one slip while talking to my friend, Julie Blackwood.

Julie mentioned an interview she’d heard with Elisabeth Elliot, who was talking about her life in Ecuador following the murder of her husband while they were missionaries. As a widow with a young infant, living in the jungles of a foreign land, Elliot’s world must’ve felt as though it had been turned upside down. But instead of throwing up her hands and saying, “What’s next?” she asked, “What’s the next thing?”

“You can imagine how tempted I was to just plunk myself down and say, ‘There is no way I can do this.’” Elliot said in the interview (taken from an online transcript I found). “I wanted to sink into despair and helplessness, then I remembered this old Saxon legend, ‘Do the next thing.’”

Instead of allowing the burdens to stack until they completely blocked out the sun, Elliot dealt with them one at a time.

She said you shouldn’t sit down and think of all the things you have to do because it can be overwhelming. Instead, just pick the next thing and do it, then move on to the one after that. She said while pushing through them, you’re likely to find that many of the problems will work themselves out.

The wisdom of her simple advice soaked in, and in the days that passed since the pinnacle of our disasters, the clogged drain cleared, Geoff got the furnace working again, our dog’s leg seems to be healing on its own, and my parents loaned us the money for my surgery.

We’re still down to one creaky old car with possessed wiper blades, but my sense of feeling picked on has been replaced with a comforting realization that the weight of the world can fluctuate as much as my own.

Don’t like the weather? Wait a while. It’ll change.

And while you’re waiting, you can do the next thing.

DO THE NEXT THING 

Author Unknown as quoted by Elisabeth Elliott

I’m sure I’ve done stranger things, but it might take a while to recall what those things were.

It’s hard to top having spent several hours decorating the skulls of dead fish.

In the big city, such behavior might earn me the title of Performance Artist. In these parts, though, I expect folks are more likely to be calculating what size back-strapping jacket I’ll need.

The adventure began with my daughter Celeste and her friend, Emillia Samosky, visiting a yard sale on our street. They returned with several strands of multi-colored wire garland, a white silk corsage, and two rectangular Styrofoam blocks meant to serve as a base for flower arrangements.

The girls looked at these items and saw in them the foundation for building monsters.

 I looked at the items and saw the possibility for getting much done while they were distracted.

It wasn’t long, though, before they needed help with a nonfunctioning outlet, and the next thing I knew, I was rummaging through the garage, looking for monster-making materials of my own.

When our home’s previous owners moved out, they left behind a good bit of stuff in their garage, and we’ve had fun gradually sorting through what they left. Among the more curious things we found was a stringer of fish heads that dangled from a nail near the door. I don’t know much about fish beyond the tartar sauce part, but we were told the heads came from Muskies, which are large and fierce-looking fish with many small, jagged teeth.

Celeste was so thoroughly repulsed by the fish skulls that we quickly removed them.

And relocated them to random places throughout our house.

Fish heads are surprisingly handy devices, ideal for holding keys, posting notes, and storing hair bands. Ours wore witch hats at Halloween, a pilgrim’s hat at Thanksgiving, and what better way to say Merry Christmas! than with a holly-wrapped fish head, complete with glowing candle propped in its jaws?

The skeletal Muskies also turned out to be the ideal starting point for making a monster, although Celeste and Emillia initially disagreed. They wanted nothing to do with the pair of dusty, cobwebby fish heads I brought from the garage. Until I spray-painted the heads shiny silver, and their interest was piqued.While the girls worked to embellish their Styrofoam one-eyed and multi-eyed monsters, my silver fish heads went the glam route, with feathers, lashes and breasts.

In time, the Short One and her friend began to be swayed by the influence of the group’s elder member, and were soon adorning their monsters with such charming details as a uni-brow, soul patch, and chest and pit hair.

Most creative projects for kids involve craft shop staples like felt, pipe cleaners, and puff balls, not severed doll limbs, spray-painted glove thumbs, and an assortment of glued together washers and nuts.

Frankenstein would’ve been proud.

Martha Stewart would not.  

Due to the overwhelming response for more images like the one that started the model debate, Glamour took the conversation a step further in its November issue (on newsstands October 6) with a story entitled, “Oh. Wow. These Bodies are Beautiful.”  

To quote my new favorite magazine:

We at Glamour couldn’t agree more, and we’re listening hard to our readers’ call to action. “The public wants to see all types of models represented,” says Gary Dakin, vice president of client services at Ford Models. “This portrait [of the models on the first page] is an amazing step toward that.” It’s one step of many.  Here’s what you can expect to see in our pages going forward:  

• A continued commitment to showing a wide range of body types-and, of course, racial diversity-in our pages, including fashion and beauty stories.  

• A promise to give the best plus models not just work, but the same great work straight-size models get, partnering with top photographers, stylists and makeup artists. Because a generous helping of fantasy, in our view, is fabulous-as long as it’s extended to women of all sizes.  

• An ongoing celebration of the so-called imperfections, from nose bumps to gap teeth smiles, that make us all unique.  

• Enthusiastic support for any designer who manufactures chic clothes we can photograph on full-bodied models.

Glamour magazine commissioned famed fashion photographer Matthias Vriens-McGrath to shoot plus-size models Lizzie Miller, Crystal Renn, Kate Dillon, among others, in a style similar to the famous Herb Ritts of nude Supermodels from the 1980s. Their story gives a behind-the-scenes look at how modeling, particularly plus-size, really works in fashion magazines.

• A standard designer sample is a size 0 to 4, which means magazines can only feature the clothes on models that size.

• The definition of “plus-size” in the modeling industry isn’t necessarily the same as plus-size clothing. Any model over a size 6 is generally considered plus because she won’t fit into most designer samples, but plus-size clothing starts at size 14 or 16.

• Most designer collections run up to a size 10 or 12, even though the most popular dress size for American woman is a size 14.

• Michael Kors, Isaac Mizrahi for Liz Claiborne New York and Baby Phat represent a relatively small percentage of designers who make plus-sized collections in sizes beyond 14.

• There’s a shortage of models that are size 16+. Jennie Runk, a size 12, admits she’s often much smaller than the plus-size samples she models, so “I’ll sometimes wear padding. I travel with my own set. It’s a series of foam ovals and circles you can put on your butt, hips, waist or boobs so you can fit the clothes.” Jennie adds, “the true sign of a great designer is someone who can fit the curves.”

The photo says it all. These women are every bit as beautiful as the super skinny ones.

Photo Credit: Matthias Vriens-McGrath for GLAMOUR

DO THIN MODELS WARP GIRLS’ BODY IMAGE? 

By Nanci Hellmich, USA TODAY

When Frederique van der Wal, a former Victoria’s Secret model, attended designers’ shows during New York’s Fashion Week this month, she was “shocked” by the waiflike models who paraded down the catwalk. They seemed even skinnier than in previous years.

“This unnatural thinness is a terrible message to send out. The people watching the fashion shows are young, impressionable women,” says van der Wal, host of Cover Shot on TLC.

Psychologists and eating-disorder experts are worried about the same thing. They say the fashion industry has gone too far in pushing a dangerously thin image that women, and even very young girls, may try to emulate.

“We know seeing super-thin models can play a role in causing anorexia,” says Nada Stotland, professor of psychiatry at Rush Medical College in Chicago and vice president of the American Psychiatric Association. Because many models and actresses are so thin, it makes anorexics think their emaciated bodies are normal, she says. “But these people look scary. They don’t look normal.”

The widespread concern that model thinness has progressed from willowy to wasted has reached a threshold as evidenced by the recent actions of fashion show organizers.

The Madrid fashion show, which ended Saturday, banned overly thin models, saying it wanted to project beauty and health. Organizers said models had to be within a healthy weight range. That means a 5-foot-9 woman would need to weigh at least 125 pounds. 

Officials in India, Britain and Milan also have expressed concerns, but some experts say consumers in the USA will have to demand models with fuller figures for it to happen here.

“The promotion of the thin, sexy ideal in our culture has created a situation where the majority of girls and women don’t like their bodies,” says body-image researcher Sarah Murnen, professor of psychology at Kenyon College in Gambier, Ohio. “And body dissatisfaction can lead girls to participate in very unhealthy behaviors to try to control weight.”

Experts call these behaviors disordered eating, a broad term used to describe a range of eating problems, from frequent dieting to anorexia nervosa (which is self-starvation, low weight and fear of being fat) to bulimia nervosa (the binge-and-purge disorder).

Girls today, even very young ones, are being bombarded with the message that they need to be super-skinny to be sexy, says psychologist Sharon Lamb, co-author of Packaging Girlhood: Rescuing Our Daughters From Marketers’ Schemes. 

It used to be that women would only occasionally see rail-thin models, such as Twiggy, the ’60s fashion icon. “But now they see them every day. It’s the norm,” Lamb says, from ads, catalogs and magazines to popular TV shows such as America’s Next Top Model and Project Runway. “They are seeing skinny models over and over again.”

On top of that, gaunt images of celebrities such as Nicole Richie and Kate Bosworth are plastered on magazine covers, she says.

What worries Lamb most is that these images are filtering down to girls as young as 9 and 10. Some really sexy clothes are available in children’s size 6X, says Lamb, a psychology professor at Saint Michael’s College in Colchester, Vt. “Girls are being taught very young that thin and sexy is the way they want to be when they grow up, so they’d better start working on that now,” she says.

Lamb believes it’s fine for girls to want to feel sexy and pretty when they are teenagers, but that shouldn’t be their primary focus. “If they are spending all their time choosing the right wardrobe, trying to dance like an MTV backup girl and applying lip gloss, it robs them of other options.”

Some girls don’t want to participate in sports because they’re afraid they’ll bulk up. Some won’t try to play an instrument such as a trombone because it doesn’t fit their image of what a “girly girl” should do, she says. 

IT BEGINS IN YOUTH

There’s no question younger girls are getting this message, says Murnen, who has studied this for 15 years. “We have done studies of grade-school girls, and even in grade 1, girls think the culture is telling them that they should model themselves after celebrities who are svelte, beautiful and sexy.”

Some girls can reject that image, but it’s a small percentage: 18% in Murnen’s research. Those girls were shown to have the highest body esteem. Murnen and her colleagues reviewed 21 studies that looked at the media’s effect on more than 6,000 girls, ages 10 and older, and found those who were exposed to the most fashion magazines were more likely to suffer from poor body images.

Societies throughout the ages have had different ideals for female beauty, says Katie Ford, chief executive officer of Ford Models, whose megastar models include Christie Brinkley and Rachel Hunter. “You can look as far back as Greek statues and paintings and see that. It’s part of women’s fantasy nature,” Ford says. “The question is: When does that become destructive?”

She doesn’t buy into the idea that fashion models are creating a cult of thinness in the USA. “The biggest problem in America is obesity. Both obesity and anorexia stem from numerous issues, and it would be impossible to attribute either to entertainment, be it film, TV or magazines.”

ANATOMY OF A RUNWAY MODEL

This year’s fashion shows in New York featured a mix of figure types, some of them a little more womanly and some thin, says Ford, whose agency had about 20 models in shows of top designers, including Ralph Lauren, Bill Blass, Marc Jacobs and Donna Karan. “Our models who did very well this season were not super-skinny. However, there were some on the runway who were very thin.” 

Cindi Leive, editor in chief of Glamour magazine, says some models were teens who hadn’t developed their curves yet, which is one reason they appeared so thin. “You do see the occasional model on the runway looking like she should go from the fashion show to the hospital. You hear stories of girls who come to model and are collapsing because they haven’t eaten in days. Any responsible model booker will tell you they turn away girls who get too thin.”

Runway models have to have a certain look, says Kelly Cutrone, owner of People’s Revolution, a company that produces fashion shows around the world. Her company produced 16 fashion shows in New York, including one for designer Marc Bouwer.

The runway models this year were no thinner than years before, she says. “I didn’t see any difference in the girls at all. When they bend over, are you going to see the rib cage? Yes, they are thin naturally.” 

Women shouldn’t be comparing themselves with these girls, she says. “These girls are anomalies of nature. They are freaks of nature. They are not average. They are naturally thin and have incredibly long legs compared to the rest of their body. Their eyes are wide set apart. Their cheekbones are high.”

Most runway models are 14 to 19, with an average age of 16 or 17, she says. Some are older. Many are 5-foot-10 or 5-foot-11. They average 120 to 124 pounds. They wear a size 2 or 4. “If we get a girl who is bigger than a 4, she is not going to fit the clothes,” Cutrone says. “Clothes look better on thin people. The fabric hangs better.” 

Stephanie Schur, designer of her own line, Michon Schur, had her first official runway show in New York a few weeks ago. When she was casting models, she looked for women who had “a nice glow, a healthy look.” 

She encountered a few models who looked unhealthy. “They tend to be extremely pale, have thin hair and don’t have that glow.”

But many of today’s runway models look pretty much alike, Schur says. “They are all pretty girls, but no one really stands out. For runway it’s about highlighting the clothes. It’s finding the girls that make your clothes look best.”

Schur says she doesn’t believe many young girls today are going to try to imitate what they see on the fashion runways. She says they are more likely to look to actresses for their ideal body image. 

It’s not surprising that women want to be slender and beautiful, because as a society “we know more about women who look good than we know about women who do good,” says Audrey Brashich, a former teen model and author of All Made Up: A Girl’s Guide to Seeing Through Celebrity Hype and Celebrating Real Beauty.

For several years, Brashich worked for Sassy and YM magazines and read thousands of letters from girls and teens who wanted to become a famous model, actress or singer.

And no wonder, she says. “As a culture, we are on a first-name basis with women like Paris Hilton or Nicole Richie,” she says. “The most celebrated, recognizable women today are famous primarily for being thin and pretty, while women who are actually changing the world remain comparatively invisible. Most of us have a harder time naming women of other accomplishments.” The idolizing of models, stars and other celebrities is not going to change “until pop culture changes the women it celebrates and focuses on.” 

WOMEN COME IN ALL SIZES

Glamour’s Leive believes the media have a powerful influence on women’s body images and a responsibility to represent women of all sizes. “We do not run photos of anybody in the magazine who we believe to be at an unhealthy weight. We frequently feature women of all different sizes. We all know that you can look fabulous in clothes without being a size 2.”

Ford believes the trend next year will be to move toward more womanly figures. Model van der Wal agrees and says she’s trying to include women of varying figure types in Cover Shot. “Women come in lots of different sizes and shapes, and we should encourage and celebrate that.”

Cutrone says models will become heavier if that’s what consumers demand. “If people decide thin is out, the fashion industry won’t have thin models anymore. Have you spent time with fashion people? They are ruthless. They want money. 

“And the one thing they know is people want clothes to cover their bodies,” Cutrone says. “Unfortunately, most people aren’t comfortable with their bodies.”

Super Skinny Models: This Is What The Fashion Industry Calls “Curves”? 

Some members of the fashion industry were patting themselves on the back last week with claims that there were more “curves and smiles” on the Fashion Week runways this year. (See AP article below.) We beg to differ. What we saw on the runways was more of the same: women so thin they not only made us gasp in disbelief, but also made us forget to look at the clothes (which can’t be good for business). Here are a few of the ultra-thin girls the top designers dressed this season, and because it’s the designer who should be taken to task for promoting these dangerous standards, we cropped the heads out of these images to protect the models’ identities. Some of them are barely 14 years old, after all. 

By Megan K. Scott for Associated Press:

NEW YORK — If model thin is always in, at least there were fewer protruding collar bones and ribs to be counted at New York Fashion Week.

Models were up to sizes 2 and 4 _ not 0, according to Nian Fish, chair of a fashion designers health initiative. Designers rejected prepubescent 13-year-olds. And at least one super-thin model who had the audience talking a few seasons ago was noticeably absent.

“I think a lot of the direction from the designers has been a much healthier approach,” said James Aguiar, co-host of Ultra HD’s “Full Frontal Fashion,” who noticed more curves and smiles on the runway.

Avril Graham, executive fashion and beauty editor at Harper’s Bazaar, also saw a healthier look and more diversity: “We’re obviously going through a season of a less cookie cutter look.”

That is a small relief to those who have brought attention to the cause of eating disorders in the fashion world, though many say there’s a long way to go.

“I saw a few that looked better,” said Finola Hughes, host of “How Do I Look?” on the Style Network. “I actually saw some breasts, which was great. But there was one show I went to and everyone looked really skinny.”

The question of how thin is too thin has been tossed around since Kate Moss made her modeling debut 20 years ago, ushering in an era of “heroin chic.” In 2006, at least two models died from complications linked to eating disorders, which prompted some in Europe to try to ban skinny models from the runway.

Efforts were more modest in the United States. The Council of Fashion Designers of America held workshops on eating disorders and recommended that designers keep models under 16 off the runway, offer healthier snacks backstage and require those identified as having an eating disorder to seek professional help if they want to continue modeling.

“I think there’s progress,” said Fish, creative consultant for KCD Worldwide, which produces fashion shows and events. “The girls are still slim. We didn’t want them not to be slim. We wanted a projection of health.”

Some critics consider the industry’s efforts lacking because they still let skinny winnies rule the runways — while the models suffer to become walking hangers.

As a new model at 15, Coco Rocha said she went to Singapore and lost 10 pounds in six weeks. When she returned to the U.S. she was so obsessed with food, she beat herself up over eating an apple.

“I’ll never forget the piece of advice I got from people in the industry when they saw my new body,” she wrote in an e-mail to The Associated Press. “They said, ‘You need to lose more weight. The look this year is anorexia. We don’t want you to be anorexic but that’s what we want you to look like.’”

Rocha is one of the few models to speak out about the issue, even as ultra-thin models find their way into pro-anorexia “Thinspiration” videos. The question isn’t just about model health; it’s about who will win the hearts and minds of the teenagers and young girls who look up to them.

Young girls can now see more realistic shapes on television, from the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty to the plus-size winner on “America’s Next Top Model.” And models have largely disappeared from the covers of magazines, replaced by celebrities who generate their own is-she-too-thin headlines.

But that doesn’t mean models aren’t influencing girls and women.

Carol Weston, advice columnist for Girls’ Life Magazine, said she gets letters from tween girls who want to models or are looking for weight-loss advice. Modeling “seems so glamorous,” she said. She said many teenagers confess that they starve themselves, purge or use diet pills.

Eating disorders groups have recommended requiring adult models to have a body mass index of at least 18.5 — the lower limits of a normal weight =– and an independent medical certification affirming that they do not suffer from an eating disorder.

“They do drug testing for sports. Why? To keep competition clean but hopefully also to save lives. That’s what we want, too,” said Lynn Grefe, CEO of the National Eating Disorders Association.

But such measures are called Draconian by Dr. Susan Ice, a medical director for an eating disorders treatment center and member of the Council of Fashion Designers of America health initiative.

For now, the goal is simply to raise awareness, said CFDA president Diane von Furstenberg.

“I think that it’s a good thing to do it the way we’re doing it as opposed to throwing those poor girls on a scale and terrifying them even more,” she said.

Because of the initiative, some models were identified as having an eating disorder, referred for treatment and are back on the runways, Fish said. Some who didn’t look healthy weren’t used.

There has been some pressure for designers to increase their model size to a 6, but the designers prefer models whose modest curves don’t compete with the clothes, Fish said. London recently dropped its plan to require medical exams for models because of a lack of international support.

“Thin is going to be the ruling look –until someone says, ‘I want voluptuous,’” said Fish. “I don’t know if that ever is going to come back.” 

A few Sundays back, I wrote about the stir created after Glamour magazine featured a picture of a model who was a few pounds heavier than the ones most of us are accustomed to seeing. Glamour’s readers were thrilled by the picture, and the magazine was soon inundated with letters and emails from delighted readers.

And for the most part, the feedback I received about the column was equally enthusiastic.  All but one.

“I can tell you that personally, the last thing I want to see when I open a fashion magazine is ‘reality,’” wrote Liza in a comment on my Gazz blog. “If I want to see overweight, common, unfashionable women, I need look no further than any street at any time of day, anywhere in this state.” 

Liza wrote that she reads magazines like Vogue, Harpers, and Glamour because she loves style and beauty, as well as the mystique and art of fashion and fashion models. “When it comes to selling magazines, it’s the 5′10″ 110 lb. model that sells them,” says Liza.

The fashion industry has been pushing their skeletal=beauty equation ever since Twiggy in the 60s, and since then, young women have been starving (and up-chucking) themselves to death in the pursuit of meeting those unhealthy standards.

From a financial perspective, I don’t understand the thinking of those in the fashion industry. To me, the reason for using models that are shaped more like average women seems obvious: Women know that what looks good on a pencil isn’t likely to look as good on a highlighter. But if an outfit works on a model who is shaped more like the average woman, then the average woman is more likely to want to purchase that outfit.

But Liza disagreed with that, too. “Designers don’t want heavy women wearing their fashions. That’s why you can’t get Prada in an 18. It’s just the reality of high fashion–the greatest creation in the world is lost on a wide backside, and that’s just a sad fact of life. Besides, designers are all about exclusivity, and given that most American women are overweight, ultra thin is exclusive. Sad reality.”

It hasn’t always been that way, though. In paintings from the 19th century and earlier, beautiful women were full-figured, Rubenesque. Even into the 1950s, celebrities were curvaceous.

To be skinny was seen as unhealthy and therefore dangerous, and to such a degree that thinness was shocking. Since shocking meant getting noticed, advertising gurus took note and made use of it, as did fashion designers. In the mid-1990s, when skinny alone was no longer enough to draw attention, it was taken to the next level with heroin chic–even more severely jutting bones, pale skin, and dark circles under the eyes. A look reflective of drug addiction.

If advertisers and designers are paying attention, perhaps some will be savvy enough to realize that featuring an average-sized woman in ads has become every bit as shocking and attention-getting as Twiggy and those heroin chic chicks once were.

It’s interesting to consider how much of what we like or believe to be attractive and important is shaped by television, movies, and magazines. In the 1950s, Marilyn Monroe-a size 14-was the epitome of sexy. Then along came Twiggy. 

In the 1950s, men were predominantly clean-shaven. Mustaches and beards were viewed as an indicator of shiftiness or danger (think of the criminal landlord twirling his handlebar mustache). Then along came Burt Reynolds and Tom Selleck with their manly mustaches, and the public’s perception toward facial hair changed. 

Used to be that men who were losing their hair resorted to toupees, comb-overs, or hats, until Yul Brynner and Telly Sevalas came along and demonstrated how good hairless could look.

I can’t help but hope that the days of uber-thin models are nearing an end, that a healthier trend will begin. I doubt Liza would agree.

Though she did have a point.

“There’s a happy medium somewhere between toothpick models and the overweight of this country,” wrote Liza. “But if you need fashion magazines to validate yourself, then you have bigger problems than body image issues. If you accept yourself for what you are, then you shouldn’t care what the magazines say.” 

From an article in BUST magazine… 

STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION

Three models spurred controversy when they brought some realism to the runway. These “curvy” (aka normal) women appeared alongside stick-figure thin models in Mark Fast’s London Fashion Week show last Saturday. The biggest shocker is that their inclusion prompted Fast’s stylist and creative designer to walk out over ‘’creative differences.’’ The reasoning behind Fast’s casting was that he “wanted women to know they didn’t have to be a size zero to wear a Mark Fast dress.” (Image from The Daily News)

It had happened to me before, but I’m a slow study, so I fell victim again. 

“Hey there!” the friendly woman said as we crossed paths in the restroom, with her taking the stall I’d just left. 

“Hi,” I said, turning to see if she was someone I knew, but the door was already closed. 

“So how ya’ doing?” she asked while I was washing my hands. “Been into anything interesting lately?”

“Not especially,” I said. “How about you?”

When she didn’t answer for a while, yet was not exactly silent, I said, “Wow. Sounds like you had a lot of coffee this morning.”

“Just a second, Stacy,” said the voice. “Hey-sorry. I wasn’t talking to you. I’m on a call with someone.”

“Sorry,” I said quickly, then hurried out. 

I miss the good old days when it was easy to tell the difference between crazies who were walking around talking to themselves and the people wearing Bluetooth headsets and talking to an actual person.

And I especially miss the good old days when a business call didn’t necessarily mean the person calling was doing their business.

I’m as guilty of extreme multitasking as the next overtaxed person, so I can certainly understand the desire to make use of what was previously just plain down time. But making phone calls from the restroom while seated in that way is one line I won’t cross.

I heard a story on All Things Considered last year about a man who accidentally dropped his Blackberry in airplane toilet. He quickly reached in and retrieved his phone from the swirling pool of dark blue liquid, then cleaned it up as good as he could. The phone still worked well enough that he was able to call his wife as he exited the plane. 

It wasn’t until after he’d shaken hands with his client that he learned the blue dye from the phone’s short time in the bowl had been transferred to his face.

I’m not a big fan of cell phones. I understand the convenience, the safety factor, and all the other selling points, but there’s something about being unreachable that appeals to both me and my husband.

It wasn’t until recently that he and I got a cell phone to share. That was four months ago. We haven’t been able to find it for three. I’m not sure either of us has really bothered to look, probably because we feel like hypocrites for owning one consider all the complaining we do about them.

I get annoyed every time I’m behind one of those distracted drivers with a head tilted at that telling angle most use when on a call. Most of them don’t even know they’re weaving outside of their lane. I get especially aggravated when those drivers have a kid or two in the car. Aside from the safety issues, there are few places better for talking with children then when you have them held captive that way.

And while most cell users seem to have grown accustomed to turning off their ringers during movies and live performances, they seem oblivious to how distracting their constant texting can be. That rapid two-handing clicking and brightly lit screen are hard to ignore.

One of my biggest cell peeves is those who take calls and conduct long conversations while out with another person.

While eating dinner at our favorite Mexican restaurant recently, one of the two women seated directly across from us received a call. Like us, they had just placed their order, and we watched as the one woman’s phone conversation continued until the food arrived, as the food was eaten, and even after the bill was brought and left on the table. It was only when her dinner companion stood up to pay that she got off the phone.

Still, all the recent technological advances with cell phones are impressive. There’s so much they can do.

It’s just a shame that where manners are concerned, there’s not an app for that, too.